Is this a question on your mind?
No matter what occurred in the past year you can get a fresh start. Dating in today’s society isn’t easy. We have to start by looking at the categories or players in the dating arena. You will not doubt encounter one of the categories.
Single - looking for serious relationship; These of course are the people seeking a full commitment leading to marriage.
Single - shopping around
Single - Just out of relationship
Single - Still in a relationship
Married - secretly
Married - openly
If I’m not mistaken I would say most women would prefer category #1. However. the problem is, marriage is no longer the primary objective for dating resulting in a variety of intimate relationships with varied expectations and no promise of commitment or permanence. In addition men have many outlets and an abundance of entertaining resources which make the issue of finding a mate somewhat less of an urgency,
At any rate, if you’re dating or wish to date this year here are 6 Tips that will help you establish some ground rules and help to guide you.
Type of Relationship
The first thing that takes place in any dating relationship is your consent. This decision to move forward should be based on more than just attraction. For instance, how were you approached? Does he seem sincere? It’s imperative that you have a positive view of him before moving ahead. I’ve encountered countless women who’ve started relationships with men they’ve had reservations about from the start but moved ahead regardless. When this occurs it brings with it a spirit of mistrust and suspicion. It’s been said it’s better to listen to your first instinct and never second-guess yourself. This advice is critical when embarking on a new relationship. Never step into a relationship with someone you’re not comfortable with.
What are standards? Standards are guidelines or rules that we operate within. If you’ve not considered making a list of standards I would recommend doing so. They will help to keep you focused and alert.
3. Relationship Duration
When dating is practiced with the intention of marriage, as it should be, the process is usually shorter in length as each person has the same goal. When the goal and purpose of a relationship isn’t stated from it’s start you have no idea where it’s leading and you become uncertain that the outcome will be positive. This state of uncertainty is a breeding ground for anxiety and fear. Yes, fear of the future.
Since women by nature are planners we tend to be more concerned about the future than men. There are times that you may remain in a relationship that isn’t progressing with the hope that things will change and I’m sure there are many cases where this has happened. However, this isn’t to be seen as an acceptable practice. Therefore, it’s best not to remain in a relationship that is not promising or fails to meet your goals. Why settle for less when you know you want more?
4. Relationship Boundaries
Why are boundaries so important? Boundaries are needed to establish an environment of safety for you and are also beneficial for your date. They will help him to be respectful, considerate, and consistent and insure his level of interest remains high and even increase. One of the most frustrating things that can happen in relationships is when the relationship seems to be going well and all of a sudden all communication stops leaving you to wonder if there was something you said or did. Trust me – it wasn’t. A mature and sincere person would be willing to discuss the issues.
This of course could happen even if you feel you’ve done everything right. The only thing you can do is move on knowing that you’ve at least upheld your standards and although you may be disappointed in him you won’t be disappointed in yourself.
5. Relationship Tone
This tone that I’m referring to is the message you send regarding how you expect to be treated. It’s assumed that people are aware that they should treat others as they wish to be treated. Well we’ve all encountered people who don’t subscribe to this belief. For this reason you’ll need to be keenly alert to any signs of negative interaction and be prepared to act accordingly. If this treatment is observed and is permitted it could have devastating consequences.
6. Relationship Environment
You’ll need to give careful thought to where you’ll meet. During the course of the relationship you’ll no doubt go many places and do many things. These locations and events should be safe and serve to enhance the relationship.
Here are a few suggestions:
Meet in public
Date with friends
Avoid being alone at each others apartments or homes
These suggestions will not only keep you safe but accountable as well. Have a safe and Happy New Year!
Please feel free to leave your comments. I’d appreciate your feedback.